were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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