I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
