Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
