goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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