next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize