I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
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He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
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Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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