Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I want a musical about memes.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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