Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize