Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
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It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
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Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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