who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
