I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
that's an acceptable place to lick
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
