I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
