he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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