go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
FUCK WHALES
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