ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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