Whod you bang
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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