It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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