What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
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him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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