Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
