Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
