That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
