Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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