Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just got carded by a ten year old.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
