This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My Sexting was not on an AP level
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
