You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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