I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
