the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My ass is underappreciated
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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