it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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