come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
