It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
