after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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