I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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