I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
operation have a gay friend backfired
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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