so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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