i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
