you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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