You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize