Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
