To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
