i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
