just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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