alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
