I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
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He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
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Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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