i jhust puked up my retainher.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
