Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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