I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
