you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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