Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize