im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
