Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
