Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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