I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
