On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
