I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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