in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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