CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i drank out of a bidet.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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