He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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