Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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